Ever just look around and think: this isn't for me!
Wedding announcements, baby bumps, happy commutes to the office, another corporate win, sit down lawn mowers, a week as Disney with the kids...a lil something coming up the windpipe, amirite?
But then you see people happy, content and keeping it keeping on and it also makes you wonder if there is something wrong with you: why isn't this enought? why does this life feel so suffocating? is this all there is?
I feel like I was meant for more...
So maybe it's time to consider that the life that is seemingly working for people around you is just this:
not working for you.
I hear you. It wasn't working for me. And living that lie almost killed me.
I spent DECADES trying to be a nice girl, serving my due diligence of millennial deference and just acquiesced to the powers that be. I drank the kool aide, did the care taking roles and played by the rules. And slowly it eroded my self worth and caused deep self hate and anger internally, which projected outwardly on to everyone in my path. It was messy. And it was extreme information that the box I was trying to fit into was just not for me. That stereotypical life was not for me.
Let someone else have it! Enjoy that minivan. God. Bless.
And the things I felt feel trapped by: the house, the kids, the marriage, the golden retriever and fenced in yard were more like a fence keeping me from my dreams.
Living an aligned life is about building and creating from what moves and serves YOU, regardless of what is standard. It is a wholehearted sprint toward your fuck yes and your dreams, even when they don't make sense to the people around you.
So consider that all these "things" people claim as success are just someone's interpretation of success that was specifically designed to keep a supremist, capitalistic and ma-fuggin patriarchal scheme a-scheming. So if you have a vagina and live in 2023, I am gonna go out on a limb and say: you are probably not winning what THAT formula. Of course you feel fucking crazy! I did, too.
Take a breath because it is time to claim something else beyond that.
So, Creating an epic life that is outside of societal standards requires a combination of tools and mindset shifts to bust away from this limiting and suffocating box. Here are some potential tools and strategies that could be helpful for you to claim a badass life you love.
Set clear goals:
Use the ZEn in the #ZenRageheal. This is where you get some deep clarity. Determine what you want to achieve in your life and set clear, actionable goals that align with your values and interests. This is where you create your roadmap. If you want to move, shift and level up, creating a plan is key. You wouldn't get in a car and plan on going somewhere EPIC without directions, right?
So, let this be your roadmap.
Embrace your uniqueness:
Celebrate your individuality and embrace your strengths, weaknesses, and quirks. Recognize that being different is a strength, not a weakness. Yes to all the quirks!!! Seriously, there is only ONE YOU. And doing life like everyone else isn't the path to happiness. it is a path to someone's created and fabricated version of happiness.
And I will die on this hill: I don't even believe that the people who chose that one path of happiness of spouse, kid, house, dog, etc are even happy. It is hard to keep wearing pants that weren't made for you ya know? But when you don't want to admit or bother even seeking out new pants, of course you gonna keep wearing them.
The key to your happiness is to honor where you are called to go and what you are called to do. It is the cornerstone of living out your passions and purpose.
Surround yourself with Support:
When you don't have a place to freely explore what works for you, then you are doing yourself a huge disservice of potentiality! There is a world of possibilities and why not see what is out there and get hyped rather than judged.
Finding a community of people who can value your choices without judgement or fear is a game changer. It feels dope to be championed! It's a validating hug needed to go take risks (see below). Because trust me, when you are surrounded by a bunch of turtles, they will never understand your vantage point and view as a giraffe.
Surround yourself with positive influences, whether that's through supportive friends and family, uplifting books and media, or inspiring mentors and role models. Or hell, even right here in this community.
Take calculated risks:
Don't be afraid to take calculated risks that align with your goals and values. This may involve stepping outside of your comfort zone or pursuing unconventional paths, and we are here for that!
Am I saying that you go Jerry Maguire style and quit your job? I dunno. Is that what is speaking to you?!?!
But just remember: Big risk, big reward. This is where moving away from the status quo can be so powerful. I like to think of it as creating space in your life, energetic and physical space.
Baby, you are gonna fall.
Just keeping it real and shooting it straight. Let that possibility of actual MOVEMENT excite you. You can't fall if you don't fucking move. So many people will never fall. Not because they are lucky, but because they are playing it safe and not moving (see above for reiteration if needed)
Building resilience is essential for navigating life's challenges and setbacks. Focus on building your mental and emotional resilience through practices such as mindfulness, self-care, and positive self-talk.
And that fall is not failure. It is an opportunity for self-discovery. It is a time to dig in and learn more about yourself, your needs, your values and your goals.
Remember, creating an epic life outside of societal standards is a process that requires time, effort, and a willingness to take risks and pursue what truly makes you happy.
You are a badass millennial who was put on this earth to break through some generational limitations and burn down the patriarchy. That's what we do!
Keep going! You totally got this.
GO. BE. EPIC.