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Meet Alyssa: Member of The Single & Childfree Network
- Angela G.
- Jun 1
- 5 min read
Being a SINK is amazing! Each month, we feature a member of our community to share what their single and childfree life really looks like, what brought them here, what they’ve discovered, and what belonging in a like-minded community has meant to them.
In their own words, they share their experience of navigating life as a single, childfree woman finding community, and embracing a life that is intentional, independent, and fully their own. The Single and Childfree community * exists: to create a space where single and childfree women don’t have to explain themselves, defend their choices, or shrink their lives to make others comfortable. Plus, being in community with women who have the bandwidth for your friendship is so healing.
If you’ve ever wondered whether anyone else feels the way you do: you’re about to see that you’re not alone. This is where you belong.
Today, we’re spotlighting Alyssa from Adelaide, South Australia.
Tell everyone a bit about you!
My name is Alyssa and I live in Adelaide, South Australia. I will be 37 in May & currently building my own home which I cannot wait to be in my own space. I have worked for the last 8 years as a carer for people with disability in supported independent living. I enjoy spending time watching true crime docs, drawing and K Pop music. I had a Pug named Chuck Winchester for 13 amazing years. As for being a single person, no one has ever been interested in me anyway so I got used to being on my own and ended up really liking and chose that this is the way to go. I've never been a fan of kids either. I have 2 amazing nieces but theres no way I could put myself into the mother role. I think I got a lot out of caring for others though my work as a disability carer, and that was exhausting enough!
What was going on in your life when you found the SINK community? And how did you find out about the space?
I had just started following Angela's instagram page. I sent one of her videos about the SINK greeting cards to my best friend.
Her reply was totally dismissive of my single & childfree lifestyle & that made me angry. I thought, I need people who are like minded and understand where I am coming from.
What made you decide to join and stay?
I have no single AND childfree friends so I joined to see if I can make any new friendships and discuss our lifestyle without being dismissed. I stayed as Angela is an amazing person to start this community and I hope to continue talking to everyone and hopefully go on one of the travelling adventures in the future to meet some of you!
People who are on the same journey as me just helps me remember that I am not alone on this journey. My best friend has 2 young kids, and other friends are in relationships and I just cannot relate to any of that & I am just not interested. I have read comments and seen that there are people with similar interests as me and the same aspirations to do things solo and I love to see that!
Has being part of this community shifted anything for you?
I feel so much support as we are all on the same journey yet we can come together and relate with one another. I 100% admire myself for making the choice to be single AND childfree and can see that we really are brave and not selfish for making this decision. I cannot picture my future any other way.
What’s one thing you love about your life because you’re single and childfree—or something you’re proud of that deserves more credit?
One word would be FREEDOM. I can choose for only myself without worrying about anyone else. I don;t have to worry about someone else's needs or thoughts. Only myself, and why shouldn't I?
I love that I can choose to do anything at anytime I want. Travel, no time constraints, making choices for just me. I feel so lucky to have that freedom. I quit my job last November and it did not effect anyone elses life because of my desicion.
What is a misconception about single and childfree life you want to debunk or an issue you want to clarify? OR, even something you wan to let people know about the REALITY of SINK life?
A misconception would be that being a SINK is selfish and a cry for attention, as my 'best friend' put it. I have attended her baby shower, her kids birthday parties, but when I invite her for my 35th birthday with 4 months notice & my offer to pay for her flight, instant refusal.
Being a socially anxious person I have stood back all of my life and not celebrated myself (did not help with an attention seeking narcissistic older sister} and did have a party for my 30th birthday but it was a total flop. People left and went home by 8.30pm. I wanted to make up for that by doing and art class followed by Korean bbq, something I have been begging my friends to to for 5+ years. But none of that happened. Last month this best friend flew over for our others friends engagement party with only 2 weeks notice. Why is it only celebrations having to do with being partnered or breeding that people love to be there for but for SINKS we are shoved to the side as if our accomplishments don't matter?
What’s one thing this community has validated for you that you didn’t realize you needed validated?
That it is still worth loving life. You can still do all the fun things, even if it is solo. Nothing is wrong with doing things alone and you can find support out there.
What would you say to someone who feels alone or forgotten because they’re single and childfree?
You are not forgotten and definitely are not alone! Sometimes I do still feel like I don't belong but getting out there and finding this community for example has reassured me that we SINKS are amazing people too.
Anything else you want readers to know about you, SINK life and the choice to be single and chidfree and The Single and Childfree Network?
Thank you Angela for creating this community. I never knew there was a whole world of SINKS out there. I absolutely love living the SINK lifestyle and I am glad I am one of them. I hope to be able to meet some of you one day, the recent Moroccan adventure looked like a fun group of people!
Joining a community of single and childfree women is LIFE CHANGING! And know, you aren't alone. Join us inside the network to meet other like-minded women. Plus, we do weekly co-working, monthly workshops, virtual meet ups and connect with SINKs in our cities. Check it out! You belong here!
*note: this group is for single (not partnered or in a relationship) AND (meaning both) childfree (not a parent, not parenting, not an empty nester looking for shit to do now that their kids left the house) women.
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