In August, I was walking through a cemetery. Yes, a cemetery. Alone, mindlessly wandering with my headphones on, doing absolutely nothing to anyone, and trying to find a little peace. A man was sitting in his car at a stop sign. Except he wasn't driving. He had plenty of time to go, but instead, he waited. And waited. And waited until I got closer. Then he stuck his crypt keeper head out of the window and said: “You're such a Pretty girl…” You know the drill. A strange man sees a woman...

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There is a tendency to think of community as something neutral and super easy because we can just...show up! A group of people gets together. They share interests. They make friends. They attend events. They have conversations. Everyone is welcome. Kiki. And BOOM! Community! And let me hold your hand when I say this: this is such a white, male centered view of community. I am no historian or sociologist, but I can stand in this with assurance, that the attitude of entitlement to be in spaces,...