Meet Brenea: Member of The Single & Childfree Network

Being a SINK is amazing! Each month, we feature a member of our community to share what their single and childfree life really looks like, what brought them here, what they’ve discovered, and what belonging in a like-minded community has meant to them.

In their own words, they share their experience of navigating life as a single, childfree woman finding community, and embracing a life that is intentional, independent, and fully their own. The Single and Childfree community * exists: to create a space where single and childfree women don’t have to explain themselves, defend their choices, or shrink their lives to make others comfortable. Plus, being in community with women who have the bandwidth for your friendship is so healing.

If you’ve ever wondered whether anyone else feels the way you do: you’re about to see that you’re not alone. This is where you belong.

Today, we’re spotlighting BRENEA from CHICAGO, IL

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Tell everyone a bit about you!

I'm Brenea, SINK living in Chicago, full time analyst, part time nerd and costume/prop maker for 13 years! If I'm not at my sewing workstation, I'm out hiking with my beagle, touring a castle overseas, or cooking a five course meal on a weekday because why not?

What was going on in your life when you found the SINK community? And how did you find out about the space?

A lot of my girlfriends were expressing their wants of being in relationships and that isn't a priority for me. They've been accepting of my choice to remain childfree but I wanted more like-minded people to meet me where I am in life right now. Low and behold, the tiktok algorithm did its thing and here I am!

What made you decide to join and stay?

Representation is paramount to me and I struggle with finding it in media. So to have this little corner of the internet as a reminder has been a boost to my mental health.

I was looking through all of the community posts and realized that I was seeing women who were centering themselves, not a man or a child. I have always tried to be intentional about doing the things that make me happy and I love seeing other women doing the same.

Has being part of this community shifted anything for you?

I now know that I'm not alone in my choices! While I'm navigating some things in my life physically alone, there is a vast support system out there and it's a bolster of peace to know that.

What’s one thing you love about your life because you’re single and childfree—or something you’re proud of that deserves more credit?

I do what I want when I want and how I want. I don't have to check in or cater to anyone else about my life choices.

I spend about 30% of the year working on costume design and I wouldn't be able to do that if I constantly had a child bugging me or throwing my fabrics around. Now if only my dog would stop doing that...

What is a misconception about single and childfree life you want to debunk or an issue you want to clarify? OR, even something you wan to let people know about the REALITY of SINK life?

I've been called selfish for centering myself. My own father called me selfish for going off to grad school instead of focusing on family. But what is selfish about doing the things that make you happy or feel fulfilled? Society doesn't question it when some women decide to have children to feel fulfilled but it's a problem if I further my education? Hell no. You get one shot at life and do what makes you blossom. I could have been a young mom but instead I'm a first generation college graduate and I'm proud of that.

What’s one thing this community has validated for you that you didn’t realize you needed validated?

There's nothing wrong with being "selfish" and building the life you deserve on your own terms.

What would you say to someone who feels alone or forgotten because they’re single and childfree?

That you're not alone. Community can sometimes take time to build but this platform exists and shows there are others craving to make a place where we can exist unabashedly free.

Anything else you want readers to know about you, SINK life and the choice to be single and childfree and The Single and Childfree Network?

That I'm happy to be here, that I look forward to meeting all of you, and please feel free to bombard me with sewing tips. I like to call myself a 13-year novice instead of a veteran.

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Joining a community of single and childfree women is LIFE CHANGING! And know, you aren't alone. Join us inside the network to meet other like-minded women. Plus, we do weekly co-working, monthly workshops, virtual meet ups and connect with SINKs in our cities. Check it out! You belong here!

I am ready to find my tribe!

*note: this group is for single (not partnered or in a relationship) AND (meaning both) childfree (not a parent, not parenting, not an empty nester looking for shit to do now that their kids left the house) women.