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Bids for connection and the constant vulnerability needed to cater to hundred of people’s diverse emotional needs without resources, guidance and direction was always met with such criticism and contempt and direct reminders of my already notable inadequcies, over and over and over and… .
When I was the most vulnerable, hurt, disconnected and met with judgement, criticism, contempt, the cycle of shame, self-hate and unworthiness just surfaced as surpassed anger as an unhealthy coping mechanism to combat abusive relationships, childhood trauma and a decade in legit the worst and most toxic professional environment I have ever imagined.
Some people will react to being unheard and invalidated with anger, while others will disassociate their feelings away through drinking, smoking, fucking, gambling, eating or gaming. These are all unhealthy reactions to disconnection and being unheard.
I think it is important to unpack this idea in order to understand how to be better humans to one another. Remember HURT people HURT people.
When we approach the concept of anger from a place of judgement, we root it in should and expectations based off our own personal experience of what we would or wouldn’t do. We look at anger as an isolated problem, anger itself is what needs to be dealt with.
What we forget and often DO NOT DO is to see anger as a SYMPTOM of a larger problem and a response to feelings of unworthiness. We judge instead of GET CURIOUS about why someone would react that way and what they would need to be better.
When we see people who are angry, we MUST remember that ANGER IS THE VOICE OF THE UNHEARD. .
And to meet that anger with love, compassion, empathy and care for they are healing a wound that is deep and painful.
If any of this sounds like something that resonates, HELL YES. (not because it is awesome, but because you have come to the right place).
I have been down that road and it is a tough one to walk without understanding.
I have your back.
~Angela
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