Steps YOU Can Take to Let Go of Toxic SH*T

For much of my 20s and half of my 30s, I was living in a constant state of misery. Legit: I. Was. Miserable.

My life was tangled up in toxic relationships, friendships, jobs, and even what I thought were my hobbies. Looking back, I can see how I let all these negative influences shape my reality, but it took years of personal growth to break free from the web I had woven around myself.

The journey to release toxicity—whether in relationships, habits, or mindsets—isn't easy, but it's a powerful and necessary act of self-love. It takes courage, self-reflection, and a deep commitment to reclaim your peace. In this post, I want to share how I took deliberate steps to break free from what was holding me back, how I gave myself the space to grow, and how I turned my life around. This is my story, and I hope it resonates with you, encouraging you to embrace your own journey toward liberation.

Here are the steps I took to level up my life and let go of toxic shit:

Letting Go of Toxic Relationships

The first and hardest thing I had to do was let go of toxic relationships. Whether it was the eight-year relationship with a boyfriend or friendships I had for over 20 years, I knew that I could no longer keep investing in connections that drained me. For far too long, I was the one giving—emotionally, mentally, and sometimes physically—without receiving anything in return. These relationships served as a mirror to the parts of myself that needed healing, but I realized that in order to heal and grow, I needed to walk away.

Ending these relationships wasn’t an act of coldness; it was an act of self-respect. I recognized that sometimes, growth requires making painful decisions. It meant stepping away from people who no longer aligned with who I was becoming, and giving myself permission to cultivate new, healthier connections.

Walking Away from Careers That Didn’t Serve Me

The next major step was to quit careers that didn’t fulfill me. For years, I was stuck in a toxic work environment that wore me down—first in a decade-long teaching career and then in various jobs that followed. I remember the sinking feeling of dread as I prepared to go to work each day, feeling angry, sad, and depressed. That’s when I knew it was time to leave.

It took me a while to accept that it wasn’t my job’s responsibility to change—it was mine. The signs were clear: I had outgrown that chapter, and it was time to move on. And you know what? It's OK to outgrow careers, to evolve beyond the things that once brought you comfort. It’s part of the process of becoming the best version of yourself.

Prioritizing Myself and Setting Boundaries

Leaving jobs and relationships behind was part of a larger decision I made to prioritize myself. I began to get clear about my needs—what I needed from my time, my food, and the people I surrounded myself with. Setting boundaries became an essential part of the process. When you start prioritizing yourself, it can cause friction. People who have benefited from you not prioritizing your own needs might not like the shift. But setting boundaries is one of the most loving things you can do for yourself.

I started to say no more often, to carve out time for my personal growth and well-being. I recognized that I was no longer willing to settle for the bare minimum, and I wasn’t afraid to enforce that in every area of my life.

Focusing on My Goals and Dreams

What truly mattered to me? Building a life I loved, filled with freedom, and surrounded by a community of like-minded, trailblazing millennials. That realization prompted me to take the bold step of leaving Boston, where I had spent 15 years, and moving in with my family to focus entirely on my goals.

It wasn’t an easy decision, but it felt right. There were sacrifices—selling everything I owned, leaving behind the comfort of a familiar city—but it wasn’t really a sacrifice. It was an empowering choice to live my truth, to step into my purpose. When you start living authentically, the risks don’t feel scary—they feel like necessary steps toward the life you truly want.

Investing in Support

As I let go of old friends and family members who didn’t align with my new vision, I realized that I needed to surround myself with people who understood my values and goals. Support came from putting myself in the right rooms, meeting people who resonated with my journey. I invested in coaches, mentors, networking groups, and yes, therapists, to help me stay focused and validated as I moved forward. These people didn’t just support me—they championed me, helping me stay true to my path and encouraging me to keep going.

Taking Risks and Embracing Change

Taking risks became a core part of my journey. Opening a fitness studio? Sure. Closing it? Done. Starting a podcast? Let’s go. Selling everything I owned and moving somewhere new? On it. Change, though unsettling, was the only way forward. I had reached a point where I knew I could no longer settle for what didn’t serve me. The fear of uncertainty didn’t hold me back—it fueled me to embrace the unknown, because in the unknown lies the potential for everything I wanted.

Each of these steps—letting go of toxic relationships, quitting jobs, setting boundaries, prioritizing my goals, investing in support, and taking risks—was a necessary part of reclaiming my life. I learned that in order to live a life that’s truly mine, I had to make space for what really mattered. And for you, my hope is that this story serves as a reminder: you have the power to release what no longer serves you and step into a life filled with authenticity, light, and profound self-love. The journey might not be easy, but it’s always worth it.

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