Sh*talking, Advice and musings...

Some one told me that I had "COVID Fatigue." What the hell is THAT about? Is that a "thing" and do I need treatment? Will the vaccine help?!? Im sure there is some truth that this monotony and isolation has totally ran its course and is causing some energetic shift in our mental, spiritual and emotional health. As humans, we need so much more connection than this time allows and the long term effects of almost a year of a paradigm shift without proper support systems and tool

“You have anger issues”⠀ “You need to go to anger management”⠀ “You’re bipolar”⠀ ⠀ And the messy aftermath of an angry outburst floods throu

We can over complicate our decision making with spread sheets, consultations with everyone in our contacts and even a solid google search before we commit to doing something, anything really. Grief and loss can spin us around a few times, challenging who we are and the path we are on. When we get up, ready to listen we can begin to question our entire reason for existing. ⠀ ⠀ When in this space, from deciding to get a Starbucks to ending relationships to seeking new career pa

I turned 39, yep you read that correctly: THIRTY NINE on July 24th, 2020. ⠀ Wisdom comes from experience and choosing to find the opportunity in every experience in your journey. They aren’t always pretty or obvious. It’s up to us to carve out meaning to guide us and keep us in alignment with our greatest most authentic self.⠀ ⠀ A few lessons I’ve gathered in 39 years:⠀ ⠀ 1. Everything just IS, not good nor bad just what meaning we assign to it. Nothing is done to you, just a

It’s also not bubble baths and haircuts. It’s not matcha tea nor is it juice cleanses. That’s some instagram fodder that is unfulfilling. DON’T BELIEVE THE HYP!⠀ ⠀ I mean, it can be part of it. It can be “caring”, and those things are nice to do, relaxing even. I t’s not the only way!!⠀ ⠀ And let’s consider this: ⠀ -shouldn’t self Care be to care for ourself? ⠀ -Why is it only about relaxing? ⠀ -Shouldn’t self care, care for all parts of ourself? ⠀ -Isn’t the point of self ca

Powerless?⠀ Lost?⠀ Afraid?⠀ Unsure?⠀ Overwhelmed?⠀ ⠀ All of it and more? ⠀ ⠀ Been there, babe. I was a LOSER.⠀ ⠀ I allowed myself to get kicked out of his apartment on a weekly basis with all my shit packed in trash bags, crying and carrying them to my car every Saturday afternoon. I’d also be back Sunday to take my trash back in. Neat. ⠀ ⠀ “Hi neighbors! It’s just me, again, carrying my life in trash bags, feeling like I am trash, taking out the trash. Have a great one! See

Joy.⠀ Love.⠀ Excitement.⠀ ⠀ They all exist at once, married to one another and coexisting in space and time. ⠀ ⠀ In order for us to know great joy we must know and experience great loss. The more polarizing in one direction the equal reaction in the other. We can only truly know how magical something is when we know the severity of not. ⠀ ⠀ If you’re hurting, feel it. AND feel the moments of joy too. Both. Not either or. You have permission to know all that it means to be hum

What is Grief? Definition: Grief is the process an individual goes through after losing a significant person or element from their life. While grief is usually associated with the loss of human life, that is not the only cause of grief. Any significant loss can be emotionally difficult and disruptive for an individual: loss of a person, place, pet, relationships, concept, expectation, etc. MY DEFINITION: I view grief as the emotional battle between your perceived expectations

There’s always a MAJOR wake up call, preceded by many other mini events that show up to see how and if we are ready to listen. Most of the time, we aren’t. So the world has gotta drop some big bombs on us we we finally wake up! The universe knows when we are not in alignment and it often forces us into discomfort and god awful pain in order for us to shake it up, change and grow. If the friends we have in our life are fighting against us, showing us their bandwidth and capabi

Two months after my dad died, my “best friend” screamed at me for being negative and told me to get my life together. Super supportive!! Jk. When someone is in pain, we may say: I DON’T KNOW WHAT TO SAY!” Well, that’s the thing: you don’t actually have to say a damn thing! You don’t have to solve or fix or distract. Holding space is so difficult from the outside, as the person not experiencing the loss, because it requires them to feel emotions and empathize beyond what they

February 2019: I was naked on my floor, crying on all fours and contemplating the necessity of my own life while on the phone with someone I called my best friend: Begging to be seen, heard, supported...and I was met with: “Angela, get it together! You can’t be here for me. It’s always about YOU. Go get help! You need medication or something. Call me when you get your shit together. I can’t deal with you.” And she hung up. Blocked me on Instagram. Deleted me from Facebook. An

Did I finally say what you’ve been thinking? And now, I bet you’re thinking: Ugh Finally. I FEEL HEARD! Ok, now what? What do I do about my sucky friends who don’t see me or hear me or show up for me in the ways that I do for them? What do they have to do? How do I make them get it?? Yeah, here is the hard truth: Why your friends suck has less to do about them and everything to do about YOU. Ouch. Not the words you wanted to hear, I know. Hard to grasp that how you have been

COUNTLESS TIMES we have said this right? . So we hang in and on to something awful: better to get crumbs than starve!!!!! Trying to adjust ourselves to fit in places and align with people who don’t work for us. . 🤮 🤢 🤮 🤢 . Too. Many. Times. I’ve stayed in MANY a toxic relationship and professional situation trying to play out old trauma and childhood wounds. Why do we do that?? The simple not so simple answer: because we don’t know who we are, what we want or how to root

Bids for connection and the constant vulnerability needed to cater to hundred of people’s diverse emotional needs without resources, guidance and direction was always met with such criticism and contempt and direct reminders of my already notable inadequcies, over and over and over and… . When I was the most vulnerable, hurt, disconnected and met with judgement, criticism, contempt, the cycle of shame, self-hate and unworthiness just surfaced as surpassed anger as an unhealth

According to author and founder of CompassionPower, Dr. Steven Stosny, “anger is a protective emotion, activated by a dual perception of vulnerability and threat (to self or valued others). Of course, the more vulnerable we feel, the more threat we perceive. When anger is a problem – making us act against our long-term best interests – it’s only a symptom; perceived vulnerability is the usual cause.” Author, researching and LIFE CHANGER (tattoo on my arm kinda life changer),